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The Fox and the Bear- Emulation

Here is my Fable Emulation

A long time ago, there was a sly fox and a wise, older bear. They both wanted to bring desserts for the mouse’s party. They didn’t want to show up empty-handed. The fox was unsure of how to bake a cake but he wanted to make it better than the bear’s cake. The fox created a one-sided competition to see who can make the better cake. 

At first, the fox went into the forest and collected sticks and rocks for his cake. For a sly fox, he was also very clueless. He used mud and sticks to make a mud cake, however, it kept collapsing. He attempted to use saliva to intact everything together. The sticks weren’t steady in the mud and it didn’t look as delicious as he intended it to be. He checks the times and he noticed he has five hours till the party. He thought of another way to make the cake. 

The fox walked towards a beach a bit away from the forest. He gathered a bunch of sand, gargled some in his mouth, attempted to create the base cake shape. The fox finished the sand cake but next was the hard part: picking up the cake. Everything was done: the sticks are perfectly straight in and the sand stuck together beautifully. Now how was he going to take the cake to the party? The fox stood in front of the cake unable to predict his next action. He watched as the sun slowly sets, realizing he has less than three hours left. He slowly plied away at the cake yet all that was left was a pile of sand covered with saliva and tiny twigs.

Sadly, the fox began to make his way to the party but he noticed Owl leaving his house. He watched as the Owl, holding a bunch of presents, closed the door without locking it. The fox waited until he knew the Owl left the premises before he proceeded to intrude. He made his way to the kitchen as he aimed to create a cake. The fox pulled out a massive bowl and emptied everything out of the fridge. He added it one by one: eggs, cucumbers, milk, broccoli, etc. Once he added a bunch of random ingredients, he raised the temperature and put them into the oven for 15 minutes. He doesn’t want to be late for the party as now he only had twenty minutes left. The moment the oven beeped, the fox took the bowl and ran to the location where the party took place.

When the fox arrived at the party, the bear showed up with his perfect-sized cake and the fox had his disgusting dessert. The fox got mad at the bear which caused a whole ruckus in the party.

The bear looked down at the fox and said, ‘If you knew I was baking a cake, why didn’t you ask? If you reached out first, maybe I would have helped you and we could have made a better cake together.’ 

The fox stared at the bear, speechless.

The moral of the story: Reach out when you need help because the people around you may be able to support you.

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Tranquillity

A more personal post <33

It started with a feeling.

I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

The first time we met, we conversed so steadily. You spoke at such a steady pace that I felt at peace around you. My heartbeat decreased and suddenly, I was unfamiliar with tranquillity. You were able to start a conversation from nothing and talk for hours. At first, I was amazed by how passionate you were about every subject. It made me want to talk to you more. All my anxiety vanishes and I’m left with this feeling of serenity.

I am unable to describe this feeling towards others. Some may say it’s platonic; everyone has experienced a feeling like this; while others may think that these are romantic feelings. No one has ever made me feel like this yet I feel anxious adding a label on these feelings.

But one thing for sure, I enjoyed being around you. I didn’t want to categorize how I feel nor do I want to put words into my mouth.

My mind wanders, telling me that I may like you more than friends but another part of me saying that ‘this is an act of kindness from friends.’ I don’t have much experience with romance (as you can clearly tell) so my mind can’t differentiate between the two.

However, with you, everything felt peaceful. I felt as if I was standing in the middle of a flower field, watching as the wind playfully brush along the petals. Then there is you; standing there enjoying the view from afar. Your presence puts me at peace no matter where I a,. Especially your commentary, your energy, and your humour; which always puts a smile on my face. I haven’t felt that way in forever.

I don’t want to be putting words into my mouth but it’s as if you are the balance I need in life.

Once school is over, I feel as if I might never see you again. Even though we haven’t talked as much as I wanted to, I don’t want to lose contact with you. I feel like we might drift away due to us going to different universities but that’s reality.

I may never tell you how I feel because I’m still figuring it out with school coming to a close. I just want to thank you even though you haven’t impacted my life drastically, you have small grateful things that I will cherish forever.

I’m not going to say goodbye because goodbyes are forever.

I have to figure myself out first before jumping into a relationship. Even if you magically have romantic feelings for me (which you won’t), I won’t be ready to reciprocate them in time. I feel like I’m a hypocrite by saying that but if these unlabelled feelings are romantic, I won’t be able to form a relationship due to my unsteadiness.

If we ever fade, I hope our paths in the future cross, so I will be able to tell you how I feel.

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The Conscious Decision

Free-Write

Often, he would dissociate when he felt anxious. He often felt uncomfortable sitting in silence anymore. He couldn’t focus properly in crowded nor quiet places. It felt as if his life was built off of background stimulus.

When he’s pressured, he felt the need to escape somewhere; if not physically, then mentally. When he dissociates, he felt as if his body moves on its free will. He felt as if he’s placed in a centre of a shallow puddle; the slightest movement triggered an overwhelming amount of unnecessary thoughts.

At times, he’s unable to ground himself in those situations.

There was one time in his life where his anxiety and stress levels have risen to a point where he couldn’t focus on anything. He was constantly reminded of it. When he was in the class that had a connection to this incident, he would have a flashback of that moment. He doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings.

He told his friends about it and it felt like they ‘joked’ about this serious topic he brought up. They really didn’t comfort him and it felt as if all the strength he had to talk to them has been crushed. He wasn’t sure how to elaborate more on it without bursting into tears.

He was tied between talking to them about it or keeping it in. He attempted to sort out his feelings alone while his friends had a conversation right in front of him. His mind ran into dead ends, his stress levels were too high to think.

It felt as if telling them the situation and saying that ‘[he] feel[s] uneasy about it’ didn’t cue to them that he was emotionally unstable and needed some validation. He pondered whether his friends would react the same way if this serious situation occurred to him.

Would they make a joke about it?

His friends didn’t realize something had happened to him after he refrained from reaching out to anyone.

He was someone who didn’t share his feelings a lot and appreciated people being straightforward when he was vulnerable. His best friend is a very animated, energetic person who uses sarcasm in her everyday use. When he spoke to her about how he is feeling or whatever is bothering him, through sarcastic comments, she would attempt to comfort him. He feels belittled as she would continuously do it to a point where her sarcasm triggered him. He feels like he must restrict or limit what he says to others. The walls he builds to protect himself now built another layer to hide from people once again. He feels uncomfortable talking to her.

Right now, she isn’t the person he once knew. He wasn’t sure if these were her true colours slowly opening up to him or if it’s a facade to hide her true self.

He recorded videos of him being vulnerable (which was uncommon for him to do) on a small spam story with his close friends. She would compliment him instead of sending an ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’ text. It’s always a ‘you look so hot in this video’ and not being concerned about how he feels. Maybe it’s her lack of empathy towards others or her humorous way of dealing with her own trauma, but not everyone feels comfortable with these comments. He has become so self-conscious and anxious around her and doesn’t know how long this feeling will last. He watched as his throat burned to the sound of others’ concerning voice.

The sound of her voice when she asks;

“What’s wrong? Why do you always seem so sad?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” That is the only response he said before he attempted to isolate himself from others.

Posted on 6 Comments on The Void Between Us

The Void Between Us

Monologue + Short Story

Hair colour description of the characters (since I don’t have precisely completed character sheets for them)

Kai Akiyama (the MC)- black hair

Maxine Madd-Diaz (Kai’s soulmate)- brown with blonde highlights

Kane Akiyama (Kai’s step-brother)– bright red hair

Max entered the keycard and burst through the door to see Kai strangled by his older brother Kane. Kai refrained eye contact with Max as he gasped for air. Kai’s body fumbled around as he attempted to retract from his brother’s extensive grip. The room was disarranged. The wallpaper peeled off the wall and there were fist-size holes pierced through as the insulation was visible. There were clothes, books, sheets of paper scattered all over. Kane cocked his head towards the boy who stood at the door in his school uniform. Kai turned his head away from the brown-haired boy and clenched his fists.

Why is he here?

The taller man smirked. Max couldn’t understand the conflict between them but he knew he had to save Kai. He promised to save Kai.

“Speak of the devil.” Kane threw Kai on the ground and walked up to Max to get a good look. Max held his stance because he knew running away will do nothing. Kane held Max’s right hand to see his golden ring which flashed a charcoal colour. The taller man hummed and turned his head to Kai. “So your soulmates with this guy? Wow. I didn’t think you swung that was since I sho-

“Sh-shut up.” Kai coughed out. He murmured something under his breath and looked up towards his brother. Tears streamed down his face. “I don’t know who he is. He was so obsessed with me once he figured out that we were soulmates.” 

Kane pouted. “Awe no need to cry now. The love of your life is here to rescue you.” He laughed maniacally as he looked to see Max’s face turn pale.

The hurt expression on Kai’s face contradicts the words that came from his mouth. Yet, a sharp spike pierced through Max’s heart. Kai decides to put the hatred, all the blame on Max. Kai wanted to protect himself by condemning others. It felt as if his old persona came back-

Then he realized.

Kai got his memory back. 

Max raised the palms of his hands to his face. Everything he had done to get close with his soulmate crumbled instantly. The rush of adrenaline surged throughout his body. He wasn’t sure what to do next. Max has a feeling that Kai is furious with him and doesn’t want to see him anymore. Maybe, everything that Kai went through the past couple of days was Max’s fault. Max suddenly felt something wet on his palms and oh-

-he’s crying.

Kane took Max’s hand in his and used the other to softly wipe away the tears. Max was deep in thought as he observed Kai and how he had become so broken. The black-haired boy weakly pulled himself up and made his way to the bed. Kai bit his lip to avoid him groaning in pain. He deeply exhaled as he plopped himself on the bed. 

“Hey babes,” Kane called out to Max, who snapped back to reality. The red-haired man tilted Max’s chin up to face him. “My eyes are right here. It seems like you mean a lot to Kai.” The redhead’s hands began to travel down to Max’s hip as he pulled the brown-haired boy towards him. “I have quite an idea follow me.” 

Kane led Max to the open couch and sat the small boy down across the room from Kai. Max’s eyes darted towards Kai, who winced to his own touch. Kai had his back turned away from Max. He faced towards the balcony door, which was wide open. Wing surged in as it blew the curtains wildly. He couldn’t care less about a word Kane said to him. All the questions Kane asked blew past him. Max was solely focused on Kai. He watched as the wind played with his hair. Max wished that was his doing. He watched as Kai raised his arms, twisted his wrist to gently place his palms on his touch-starved cheeks. Max knew at that moment that Kai was anxious. Max’s wished that those were his hands. 

Kai attempted to control his breathing. He just wanted Max to go home and not be a part of this conflict. Then, Max watched as Kai struggled to take off his shirt. He couldn’t contain himself any longer. 

Max stood up and started to make his way to Kai. Kane pissed off, grabbed a handful of Max’s shirt and tossed him in front of the balcony door. Max got a closer look at Kai, whose breathing was rapid as he whispered Go Home Max. Max reached out his arm in Kai’s direction. 

Kane scoffed. “No no no.” He slapped Max’s hand down and grabbed the front of his shirt. Kane led him towards the balcony. The rain fell like pellets as the wind blew harshly into Max’s face. The tides beneath the balcony were crashing roughly against the side of the house. 

Kai’s eyes widened as he saw his older brother hanging this soulmate over the balcony. Kane only held onto Max’s shirt. Max tightly grabbed onto Kane’s arm. 

“Since you were ignoring me before Maxine, I decided this would get the best reaction out of you.” Kane scoffed as he turned towards Kai. “Is he really obsessed with you or is it the other way around? Tell me Kai-dear.” 

Kai’s eyes scanned the room anxiously. Why would his brother do such a thing? He wanted to save Max but was frozen in place, unsure of what to do. His hands clenched the bedsheets behind him to hide his cold, sweaty, trembling hands. Kai watched as his brother pulled a sharp blade from under his blouse.

“Kai. Listen to me.” Max called out. “Remember that time when you were at my place, and you were very anxious about the scary movie we were watching? You got scared pretty easily, not going to lie.” Max chuckled. “But I remember you crossed your arms and held your cheeks to imagine it was someone else as I was right next to you. I pushed away your arms and placed the palms of my hands on your face. At that moment, I knew I had to rescue you from the misery you were living in. Even though you can imagine someone else holding you, being there for you, you will never feel genuine happiness from that. It will only bring you an immense amount of sadness once you realize you are alone in the end.

“Before you lost your memory, you were this stuck-up guy who hung out with the wrong group of people. The first time I met you, you jumped from the second-story window and landed on me, coincidentally. Before I looked at my ring, I immediately knew you were my soulmate. You smiled so genuinely around me, and I felt comfortable with your presence. Those couple of seconds felt like a dream I never wanted to leave. But once I figured out your personality, the way you act around others, I felt anxious to be around you. You even admitted that you were embarrassed that I was your soulmate because I was a guy. I didn’t want to be seen next to you. I just felt uneasy being next to you; however, you always wanted me by your side. You were this selfish, toxic, ingenuine person, and the people around you were ‘hyping’ you up like you were some Godly figure. 

“However,” Max shifted himself in Kane’s arm and faced Kai. Kane cleared his throat as he started to lose patience. “Once you lost your memory, it was like you were a whole different person. You didn’t have a care in the world and abandoned all your old friends. You treated me so nicely and you were bragging about me being your soulmate to our classmates. It made me wonder if your toxic personality was just a persona to hide your true innocent self. You were constantly asking about your previous self when you had amnesia. To be honest, I know nothing about you Kai, just by name only. I was constantly conflicted between telling you who your friends were or not saying anything because I was afraid to lose you. I was afraid your other persona would overtake you and you would leave me… you would abandon me.” 

“We don’t have all day, lovebirds,” Kane growled as he almost closed the distance between the boy and the blade. Max held his breath as he spoke with a faster tone. 

“Yes, I’m sorry for being selfish and wanting to hang out with my boyfriend- my soulmate for a while. Even if I try to explain myself, I have taken advantage of you to some extent and I deeply apologize for it all. You probably won’t even accept my apology. You may look at me as this f*g who forced his homosexuality onto you- I’m not sure if you swung that way…” Max exhaled out as he looked down at the crashing waves, ashamed of what he said. 

Kane aggressively turned his head to Kai. “Well then, it looks like Kai was the more obsessed one. Kai has that manner to become attached to others without physically showing it. Kai, do you have anything to say in response because I heard everything I needed to hear?” He said sarcastically.

Kai wiped his eyes. He opened his mouth multiple times, yet he was unable to form words. The black-haired boy was speechless. Kai was scared to lose the love of his life, but he was unsure how to save him. Max sacrificed so much for him even before when Kai mistreated him. Now his soulmate is here risking his life once again. Kai, hopelessly, looked down at his hands trembling. He wanted to save Max, yet he was scared of what his brother would do. 

Spanish came out from Max’s mouth. Kai couldn’t understand a word. Kai attempted to mouth the phrase Max studdered out as he stared blankly at his hands. “Akiyama… You have been the best soulmate and the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. I was quite skeptical of you at first but I’m glad I had a good time.”

Kai finally held eye contact with Max.

“I hope you find a significant other who is way better than I could have ever been. I have done nothing but cause trouble and pain and I deeply apologize.”

You haven’t caused me any pain, Maxime. You were the first person to ever show me how to properly love someone, especially myself.  

Max released this tight grip on Kane’s arm. “I love you so much, Kai Akiyama. We’ll grow old together in another life. Don’t worry about me. It’s fine. I’m fi–.” 

Kane pierced the blade through Max’s body. His body jerked up as the light slowly faded from his hazel blue eyes. Kane retracted the knife and dropped the boy off the balcony.  

A blood-curdling scream came from Kai’s mouth. His ears rang, and he surged toward the balcony edge; however, Kai sensed a tug at his sleeve from his brother. He felt everything slowing down around him. 

“You could have saved him if you didn’t lie to me at first-” Kane’s voice was barely a whisper. The redhead placed his palm on Kai’s cheek. Kai slapped his hand away. He looked down to see Max smiling as he swiftly fell through the air. 

“MAX!!!!!!” Kai yelled out as he ripped his hand away from Kane. He stepped over the balcony, not even batting an eye at Kane. He jumped off the balcony to see Max already submerged in the water. 

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The Story I’ve Never Shared

BAD WORDS MENTIONED BELOW

Hey! This is more of a personal post for no odd reason. I have always suppressed this part of my life because I was ashamed of it. I never told a single soul. Comments will be off… Anyways.

Also a song that inspired this piece.

my favourite artist, Yoasobi- Tabun (Probably)

I know this song is about the regrets of a couple blaming themselves for breaking up. They don’t want to go back because it will hurt their pride but in their hearts, they still want to love each other. I just took inspiration from the song and English lyrics. Alright 🙂

We met a year or two ago through one of my friends.

Back then, I created this story account to escape from reality. I wanted to meet other people out there besides the people in this city. I strive to find people who had similar interests to me and won’t be judged for my abrupt hyper fixation.

The first group chat I was in was horrendous. They would invalidate each other left and right (not on purpose but the admins had favorites). At the time, I was quite hesitant to rant or share my feelings there because I had scared of being invalidated making a fool out of myself.

Then I met you through my best friend, Vi.

You were this spectacular person that everyone adored. I was afraid to even approach you at first. But you were so easy and outgoing which made me want to talk to you more.

We became so comfortable around one another. We both shared everything from our family life to what we want to do in the future. We started to flirt with one another which made my heart flutter?

We would message each other until the birds were chirping in the morning. I remember FaceTiming you for the first time and you were very excited. It made me so happy and gave me the sudden urge to call you more.

You even bought me a plushie of my favorite anime character which I kept all this time.

You asked me if I would ever do long distance and my response was no because you told me that you also didn’t do long distance so my response was based on you.

Then, you got a girlfriend in your state. I knew I was a pussy and never would ask you out or anything, but seeing you with someone else boiled my blood at the time. There was a lump from the back of my throat.

I was supportive but I also needed space because I didn’t want to lash out at you nor your girlfriend. I have a habit of distancing myself from my friends when I’m anxious. I still was in contact with you but wasn’t as talkative as before.

You reached out to me one day and told me that you broke up with your girlfriend. You told me that you both were mentally unstable to be in a relationship. I comforted you, scared to become attached once again.

I was conflicted thinking I had a chance.

Yet I knew nothing would happen so I kept myself distanced.

To you, I was just a cloud. People never notice the clouds moving until you pay close attention to them. You never realize I was slowly distancing myself until you sent me a message.

We became close and started to constantly flirt with one another. That familiar feeling came back. My heart fluctuates whenever I saw your notification.

We talked for a couple weeks. Then you brought up that you and your girlfriend are slowly talking to one another. I didn’t take it to heart because I knew we weren’t together.

We were just friends flirting through the phone. At the time, I got into a relationship, however, I kept thinking about you.

You and I were flirting platonically but it didn’t feel right. There was something wrong. I’m not dating my partner to get over you, I had (spoiler alert) genuine feelings for them.

I was ashamed. I was conflicted. I was hurt.

I kissed my partner for the first time. Why did I picture you? Within a split second, I had to rethink everything in life. Why did I imagine your lip-

I haven’t told either you or my partner. How could I bring it up? I wasn’t sure how to approach my partner about that.

My partner and I gradually lost feelings for each other and broke up. I was sad however I didn’t cry. I forced expected myself to cry, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.

I wasn’t sure how to talk to you again. I was hurting inside, however I couldn’t find the right words to tell you.

Then one day, as a joke, you posted on the group chat:

“me and [someone] are dating”

Then there was that familiar feeling again. The lump at the back of my throat. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I just read the messages. Everyone was congratulating you and that said person.

Everyone in the group chat, besides you, knew that I like love liked was interested in you. You noticed that I was quite hesitant with my typing. You told everyone that it was one of your practical jokes. What a great fucking joke.

You DMed me personally asking if I was alright. You were also wondering if you did anything wrong.

I’m fine don’t worry. I wasn’t.

We gradually went out of sync. I still haven’t spoken with you in a while. I’m not sure how to collect my thoughts around you.

I’m not sure what to do. Whether to cry or laugh or say goodbye. I’m not sure whether to keep any memories of you anymore as it stirs me up. Every time I see your notification on my phone, a bundle of emotions comes out.

Even writing this piece was difficult for me.

This is one of the main reasons I turned my notifications on my phone. With my overwhelming amount of stress from school, talking to you is a whole rollercoaster I am not ready to ride on.

As someone who has no experience with love, you really changed me and make me want to sacrifice everything to be with you. I want to run away into the woods with you, abandon all my family and friends just to live a peaceful life next to you.

I’m not even sure what I’d call this feeling; this urge of adrenaline. This isn’t me attempting to write a shitty apology. I just wanted you to hear me out and understand why I haven’t spoken to you in a long time.

Love is such a strong word and I’m not even sure I’m ready for that type of commitment. I’m unsure whether I want to be connect with someone forever.

I genuinely care so much about you and am not sure how to put my feelings into words. You mean so much to me and I don’t want my incompetent feelings to destroy this friendship. I’ll tell you one day. I’ll tell you when I’ve become a stronger person in the future. For now, just wait for me. Okay?