I saw this quote and it heavily related to the novel I was reading. So I decided to write a short story about it.
Novel: ‘The Cellist of Sarajevo’ by Steven Galloway
To Emina,
I’m writing to you today to apologize for my inconsiderate behaviour at the main intersection. This war changed me into this introverted man who fears everything and prioritizes himself over others. I admit that I use fear as a reason to escape this war. When I first saw Amil, a man who once worked in a kiosk in front of my apartment complex, I didn’t have the courage to say hello. I didn’t want to be reminded of my past and everything I have lost because of this war. “I have been asleep during this war” and never took a risk to save anyone. I would only worry about myself, constantly dreading those men in the hills. There was a moment where someone ‘ran through the street and they dropped abruptly from a gunshot.’ I didn’t have the courage to run to see if they were okay, I ran behind the concrete wall, fearing for my life. That made me realize how much of life I have been missing due to this fear.
As a 65-year-old man, ‘I am not built for this war;’ however, Sarajevo is my home. Even if I had the choice to leave it, I couldn’t leave behind all the memories I have created in this city with my family and friends. Even through tough times, you were able to present genuine happiness and I am very grateful for you. I watch as you ‘risk your life to give expired pills to someone you’ve never met.’ It made me wonder whether risking your life was worth it to help others. As time went on, I saw ‘[the] young man who rescued you off the street once you were shot and the cellist playing for the people who were killed in the mortar attack.’ They were both risking their lives to help others in need. It made me realize that overcoming this fear to support others is crucial to help everyone going through this war.
The people of Sarajevo aren’t running from this war, they are facing it headfirst and aren’t secluding themselves by fear. When the first bullet whirled past my head, you were there ‘[grabbing] my hand, trying to hold me upright.’ That was a very scary experience that I have encountered and you were there comforting me. However, the moment you got shot, I was motionless and useless as I witnessed someone else, who had no connection with you, ran to help you off the street. I felt pathetic, yet you were still enthusiastic and joking about the soldier’s aim. I felt as if I should have done something, yet I couldn’t. I prioritized myself once again. I remember you telling me that ‘you were scared of dying’ but that didn’t stop you from taking a risk to give that lady the expired pills. When you were taken to the hospital, I saw the man lying on the ground moments after you were shot. I remembered you and the cellist who was doing whatever you all could to stop this war from getting worse. Impulsively, I ran over and carried the wounded man to the nearest shelter. At that moment, I was fearless and courageous. I carried this courage afterward by greeting a surprised fellow on the street and delivering the medicine to that lady. Yes, I am afraid of death and not fit for this war, but I’m not letting that reason alone stop me from changing how the world perceives Sarajevo.
I decided to write this letter to you once again apologizing for my ignorance. Just as Abraham Maslow once said “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” This quote elaborates on how a person must either take a risk and learn from it; or stay within their comfort zone. Someone who chooses to take a risk must overcome their fears each and every time. At the beginning of the war, I was nothing but a pathetic man who was afraid of this war; however, you and the cellist made me realize that to stop things from getting worse, you must try to help others to lessen the extent of this combat. You have influenced me to become a better person during times of war.
Emina, you have inspired me to not run from this war but to embrace it while gaining the courage to overcome my fear. I am grateful that you have approached and conversed with me that day. Thank you for everything and hopefully, your gunshot wound has healed!
Cheers,
Dragan